My boy asked me this the other day. I've been rattling this question around my head in hopes of getting to the root of this issue.
Trying to figure out who isn't a heaux here... HELP!
Let me start by saying that not all women are heauxs. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say the majority of women aren't heauxs. I don't wanna be misconstrued as a misogynist just yet, there's a lot more of this post to be read.Secondly, I'm not a prisoner of the moment. There have always been heauxs who didn't know their place. In the Bible (yes I'm using a Bible story to further a point about heauxs not knowing their place) Abraham's wife, before she conceived Isaac, thought she was too old to have kids so she sent her Egyptian servant, Hagar, to get it in with Abraham so they could raise a child. Of course after the kids born, the Egyptian baby-moms had jokes on Abrahams wife and had to be sent off before she got murked. Heauxs have always been of the thinking that they are more than what she they are so this shouldn't feel all that new.
That being said there seems to be a rise in heaux-confidence and heaux expectations nowadays. The right-wing-heaux media saturates the airwaves selling us on the idea that a pretty face/nice tits/fat ass combo has a high-price tag despite how many lames have gotten it for free. The social networks are the current breeding ground for this movement but where does all this heaux inspired hope stem from? The answer is very simple. 80s-90s teen movies/romantic comedies.
Think about how crazy the plot to "Pretty Woman" is.
She started off like this but a sprinkle of some sangano's money...
A bad heaux gets caught up in life's occasional fucked-up-ness. Her 1st john basically is some super wealthy lame who has none of tools to get a girl and all of the money (your average trick). But instead of 1-nighting her, he wifes her. Diamonds, shopping sprees, introduces her to friends as if she ain't a heaux.
Now she living like this. SMDH
Now you might be saying to me rhetorically "But Joseph, that's a movie. Shit like that happens all the time in movies." And you would be wrong. Historically movie heauxs were the bane of a man's existence, his achilles heal and cause of his eminent demise.Think of your classic movie heauxs and other heauxs throughout history. Cleopatra. Delilah. The heaux who got pregs in Grease. Shit, fucking EVE from the Bible (yup thats 2 Bible references in 1 post). The point is, these heauxs brought about the demise of the man. Pretty Woman made it seem like heauxs could one day save the world if only we would fund their lavish life-style needs.
I guess have to thank your mom for your lowered self-esteem.
2 generations of Americans were bred on the idea that heauxs should be looking for financial security in the arms of a rich sangano looking to have the proper eye candy. The 80s glamorized the idea of the heaux. The heaux was first created by man in the 80s in the movie "Weird Science."
Notice when she 1st comes into existence she had CLEAR heels on. We ALL know what clear heels mean.
She did their bidding and granted their wishes. But that movie tricked you. Notice, they never piped down the hottie with the British accent even though they made her. Think about that. Not like she didn't have the "do me like this" vibe. Also she caused crazy havoc and yet she didn't get any punishment. She was allowed to teach them a lesson. The magical-heaux taught them life lessons! You think any heaux was teaching a boy to be a man in Casablanca or Citizen Kane?
Then you have Desperately Seeking Susan. A suburban house wife so obsessed with a heaux and the heaux-lifestyle goes to spy on the heaux and then gets caught up in the heaux life. She went from dressing appropriately to dressing like Madonna (who played the heaux) of 1985. Think about that. Housewife who seeks out the heaux-life. Not the high-life the heaux-life.
The Heaux Standard of 1985
This is a monumental shift in American psyche. Madonna, the predominant heaux of the era pushed the idea of the coolness of heaux-ness. Song like "Pop don't preach" told the world her heaux-ness was not our problem. "Like a virgin" planted the seed that any woman can be made new by a new dude. And we bought it. Hook, line and sinker.
Madonna went on to dominate the 90s musically while the romantic comedy evolved. But the damage has been done. Artist have been bread on this era of movies and now I have to here the Dream. This dude is like the Sean Hannity of the heaux agenda (not to mention a watered down imitation of Prince)."Throw it in the Bag"? No. How bout "Get a fuckin' job."
I wouldn't wish a shorty taking half of anybody's shit BUT this lame is the exception.
I can picture young Terius Nash (yea I threw out your government nigga) growing up lame and pudgy and awkward looking, inspired by "Can't Buy Me Love" or "Pretty in Pink" to switch his style up and shower some shorty with gifts that she just doesn't deserve. That's why you got served them papers dude. I'm an Usher fan but "Wanna make love in this club"? Fuck outta here. If I'm getting it in in the club, we aint making love. We fucking. You know this and I know this. This aint "16 Candles" and your ass aint Molly Ringwald. And I know you're thinking "Aint that the same thing." No it's not. Euphemisms are the tools of the heaux. Don't fall prey.What I don't understand is why don't "good" women stand up against the army of heauxs emptying the "all the good men." The reason ya can't is you're all under the same Destiny's Child banner. Claiming to be "Survivors" but still tryna get a dude to pay your "Bills, Bills, Bills." Now this isn't all women. But that's another post entirely.
I just wanna end this by saying. Fuck Molly Ringwald. Fuck. 1985-96 Madonna. Fuck Freddie Prince jr. ("She's All That"? No the fuck she wasn't.) Fuck Dawson and his fucking creek.
Did anyone get laid on this show?
Fuck Julia Roberts. Fuck Richard Gere. Fuck The Dream. Fab will never be in my Top 5 rappers solely because of "Throw It in the Bag." Fuck George Bush, he didn't have shit to do with this but just thought that I should mention. Fuck you lames putting ordinary pussy on the Pantheon. And last but most of all Fuck John Hughes
This is like the Godfather of Heaux Lovin.R.I.P. John Hughes...asshole
........Feels good to be back.
