It's your fault.

Where are all the good men?

I wanna start off by saying I have been avoiding answering this question because I think it’s a fairly dumb question asked by dumb women too self absorbed to look past themselves and see the real problem. If this first sentence offended you, now would be a good time to stop reading because though I love women, this will only get worse for you. I have never heard a man ask “where are all the good women?” in my life. You probably have not either. But women have asked me this question several times. The answer, considering the tone and content of my previous posts, is more likely to have me even more universally despised and possibly cause harm to my genitalia in comparison to anything I’ve written before. If you’re a dumb bitch, the following will anger you so just stop reading now… Seriously… I’ll wait…

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Ok, now that they’re, gone here’s the scoop. There are very very VERY few absolutes in life, but once you get to the point where you’re asking THIS question, 99.7486% of the time, the problem is you. You may have fallen victim to the traps of a lame or loser. You may have been a good girl to someone who didn’t treat you right. And yes that sucks. The fact that you’re asking this question makes it still you’re fault.

You struggled with someone for not weeks, not months, but most of the time, years knowing there was something about them that was gonna make this relationship as successful as teaching your average black man to not hit on fat white women and yet, you stayed and tried and worked and argued and stressed and became bitter. You left after you lingered too long or he deaded you or you deaded him or you stalemated like the Vietnam War and now you’re even more bitter. Now you’re looking for someone better and smarter who will treat you like the princess… no…fuck that, like the queen that you are who will be understanding of your standoffishness and the reason you have walls bigger than the ones in China. He has to be willing to deal with the fact that you trust people as much as a member of the average member KGB and still pursue you cause you’re so awesome. You want someone equal intellectually and goal oriented and faithful like a puppy and won’t play you like some dog. You want all that but will probably settle for the last guy who fucked you in hopes that he’s changed and if not him, then SOMEONE JUST LIKE HIM.

OMG I hate him... When's he coming back?

Now, the relationships you get involved in are tainted by your bad experience and by the bad advice you’ve gotten from other bitter bitches just as dumb in regards to the subject or at least just as big a failure as you are in the area of the opposite sex. Here are some questions for women who do dumb things that hinder their ability to look through the bullshit and be happy.

A. Why don’t you ever really work on correcting or at the very least checking and acknowledging your own flaws?

I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM!

Some guy fucks you over. It was traumatic. All men are evil. Wait!? What? Did I miss something? Women are notorious for making sweeping generalizations on all men based on a bad experience, which was usually their fault, only to do the same shit over again. I’m not saying it’s your fault that the man you love is poking someone else. But if you didn’t see it coming, then you were with a liar/manipulator (rare case but still your fault) or you weren’t paying attention to the obvious signs being thrown your way. Being dumb is equal to being a statistic.

B. Why do you have “a type” and not a standard?

When a man who is not retarded wants to see how easy it will be to have sex with a girl, he asks her “what’s her type.” He half turns his ears off to all the emotional and intellectual traits, for the most part, and pays attention to the physical ones. The more attributes she lists, that you have as a man, the easier it will be to fuck her, fuck up and keep her lingering. This is a fact.

It’s human nature, not just a man’s nature, to get as much out of a situation while investing the least resources possible. So the next time you’re wondering why that guy just wanted to fuck, realize that he was thinking the same thing you were thinking when you took that drink from some guy at the bar. “He didn’t have to offer it to me.” True. You also didn’t have to offer it up to him. I will take whatever I can with the least amount of work, for the most part, everytime. I won’t bother putting in work if you ain’t worth shit or ain’t about shit. And that is how you’re probably coming off if you’re the type to ask, “where are all the good men.” Too much work; not worth the effort. And perception is reality when you first meet someone. How do we get this impression? From everything! How you’re dressed, how you speak and carry yourself, how fit you are, how you respond to their advances and your history…etc, etc, etc. Remember that you’re not the only one sizing up someone. The only difference with men is that you don’t have to pass all of a man’s tests to fuck.

C. Why do you focus on rules and milestones instead of allowing things to happen organically?

Women, who have rules like “He’s gotta take me out to dinner at least 3 times to get some” or some bullshit like that, are the EASIEST TO SMASH. You set yourself up for failure as soon as you measure a man’s potential by his ability to hit certain milestones. How much does “going out for a month” matter if you have nothing in common?

D. Why the fuck do you ask your single and “even less successful in relationships” friends for relationship advice?

She's literally been failing FOREVER

This is probably the main cause for your loneliness and failure. You have a question about a man, who you think might have potential, and you ask the biggest, most jaded, man-hater you know to evaluate him. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT MAKE SENSE!? It’s like asking your average crack head for medical advice. Actually the crack head might give you better advice in this case because experience counts for way more in the medical field.

Relationships are one of the few areas where LESS EXPERIENCE is usually a better thing. If you’re looking to another girlfriend for advice on men and she’s single and has been forever or is usually in relationships with lames, losers and scalliwags, then how dumb are you? They have been doing nothing but failing in this area and this is the person who is somehow gonna show you how to be successful in a relationship? Really!? Fuck no. They’re just gonna pass on a little bit more of the bitterness and probably add on a new expectation from men that you shouldn’t have and complicate an already difficult situation for you. They are quick fixes like plugging a crack in a dam with double mint gum but just as stupid. Anything they say should be burned out of your memory as soon as possible.

Know that you being single or settling for lames is a subconscious choice you have made. I mentioned earlier that I have never and you probably will never hear a straight man ask a question like this. You know why? Because the dumbest man knows that as soon as you make yourself worthy of something great, it will come and even if he doesn’t better himself, there’s a woman dumb enough to see a spark of potential and be willing to duke it out with him to see if it ever manifests, because she’s blind to the flaws. Open your eyes. And if you’re mad, I told all the dumb bitches to stop reading this a LONG time ago.