Whats wrong with YOU people? And yes that's exactly how I meant it?

Whenever I go back to the Bronx, I know exactly what to expect. Yet and still, I am surprised every single time. I get on the 6 train with the suits and yuppies on 33rd, get off at 138th and immediately I’m greeted by panhandlers and random teens trying to sell me weed. I get to the park and I’m sitting there waiting for my friend. There’s a BBQ going on with a Black family. Boom box was blasting some Soulja Boy song. I didn’t pay attention at first until I noticed a grandma doing the Superman with her grandson. It was random because she was like maybe 41 at the OLDEST and he was like 7-8 years old. Then Lil’ Wayne’s “Lollipop” came on. Now the right thing for this grandmother to do would be to walk away. She proceeds to allow this little kid to grind on her. Now, she had a drink brown bagged and she wasn’t to steady on her feet, so she most likely was drunk…but come the fuck on. Worst part is that the rest of the guests were cheering them on. The only thing I could think of was a phrase I heard my best friend say, “I’m not saying all black people are coons, but these niggas right here are fucking coons.” As my friend was walking into the park, a fight broke out so we left. As the cops ran into the park I heard someone yell, “This ‘zactly why we can’t have nuthin’.” She was right.

Ghetto people are why I avoid watching the news, no matter what the topic is. From stock market crashes, civil unrest in a 3rd world country, to the death of a pop legend from Japan, TV crews always happen to find that one uneducated, ghetto person. You know exactly who I’m talking about. That one person out in the streets who has absolutely no sense of the meaning of the event, why the event is historically relevant, no meaningful opinion and absolutely no business speaking to the world in any way, shape or form because they’re fucking failures. Sometimes the newscaster attempts to keep them from embarrassing themselves and doesn’t even talk to anyone, but there’s some random ass dummy in the background throwing up gang signs, waving a baby (not necessarily his baby) or on a cell phone calling someone to tell them they’re on TV. Meanwhile, it’s 2pm and you out in the street not doing shit cause you ain’t got no job and you waving on tv like a fucking sambo. FUCK YOU GHETTO PEOPLE ON TV.

Everyone knows at least 1 person who goes by the code of “Fuck it! I can’t deny who I is or where’s I’m from. I’m ghetto nigga. Thug Life! Fuck You. Take That Take That!” This is the person you may have been really close to back in the day before you had any form of life education and realized there were classier places to eat than Applebee’s on 42nd. Usually they are a person who could have had some sense but won’t let go of an ideal that SHOULD be beneath them. The problem with them is not where they come from, but what they refuse to let go (Hood tendencies that are fucking pointless). Here are a few reasons why I hate you.

1. Ghetto people always wear clothes that don’t fit. Men usually wear shit that’s too big and women don’t wear enough clothes.
2. Ghetto people fry too much food and fry food too much.
3. Ghetto heroes are people who just shouldn’t be heroes. Why are kids looking up to Scarface and rappers destined to be, if not already, bankrupt?
4. Ghetto people don’t learn from their mistakes. You’re on your 3rd baby daddy, and you still haven’t learned that condoms are the way to go? Really?
5. Ghetto literature is the worst. You can’t tell me that The Coldest Winter Ever and Homo Thug are quality American literature.
6. Ghetto people always feel like they’re entitled to shit. That’s why I don’t go to hood hospitals. I refuse to wait in a room with some niggas demanding shit they will never pay for.
7. Ghetto women are always too fucking loud.

Here’s something I don’t get about ghetto females. So you basically refuse to learn or, at the very least, utilize any form of the intelligence or knowledge you claim to have to fuel your conversation, but you always have something to say. So when you’re on the 2 train on your way to the club or wherever you plan on acquiring your next baby daddy, why do you have so much to say? Is the Tyra Banks Show or the latest episode of College Hill really all that important? Do you aspire to be on Maury? How does that make you cool?




Vernacular makes every conversation more interesting. People from certain parts of Boston have an accent that I find annoying but that is undeniably entertaining. I have a flair for vernacular myself but I am able to speak in the most universal form of the English language, which is simply proper English. This is not “talking white” and to use that phrase is to say, whether you intend to or not, that “dem big word’s ain’t fo me yo. I’ms not smart nuff fo dat.” That may be acceptable for you but for us non-idiots, not so much. If you don’t possess the will to thrive in any other area then where you are from, if you’re not trying to work with the world and think only of where you’re from, you aren’t going anywhere. It’s not selling out to get smarter and become universal, it’s called growing the fuck up.

Ghetto clubs are undeniably the worst though, narrowly beating out BET. How so, you ask? Is there anything worse than being in a place that you just paid 30 bucks to get into and got forced to wear shoes when about 20 other people just walked in with scuffed up Timbs? You’re outside waiting for like a half hour to get into a place with highly over priced drinks, scandalous sluts with no personality waiting to pounce on anyone with a car or willing to buy them a drink, and a guaranteed temperature somewhere around 116 degrees Celsius. You get ice grilled from the time you walk in until the time you walk out and the night will undoubtedly end early because a fight WILL BREAK OUT.

You should never be ashamed of where you come from. And you should never be afraid to be who you truly are. But you acknowledging where you come from should NEVER keep you from where you want to be. And if you wanna remain downtrodden and misused, that’s exactly what you deserve. Complaining about the atrocities of an existence where everyday is a struggle is retarded when you long for that type of surrounding anyway. There’s nothing pretty about little kids smoking or singing songs that they don’t understand. Stop being sambos, ghetto America. Your kids will thank you later. 1

Why is it OK that you're Huge, Ms. Big Girl?

I do not care what euphemism you use. Big boned. Plump. Full figured. You are NOT cute or better because you're big. NO. No you're not. NO.

I wanna start off by saying I am in no way a fan of the Keira Knightly, Lara Flynn Boyle, Mid to Late 2000s Cameron Diaz style of woman who look like they’re allergic to meal portions that don’t fit in a crack vile or can’t be snorted. Not saying that any of these women do coke or are opposed to eating, but if I told you that any one of them did coke or was opposed to eating, would that really be a big surprise?

That being said I can’t stand an over confident fat bitch like Michael Jackson couldn’t stand being black.

There are several reasons I dislike over confident fat women. First, fat bitches take up too much space. People who use public transportation know what im talking about. I’m not the only person who’s been sitting on the train minding his own business when a huge bitch comes thru and damn near knocks the lights out of them. Yes they are a human and paid just like I did. But it called “getting in where you fit in.” If you’re squeezing YOU DON’T FIT!

Second, confidence in your physical appearance should come from maintaining a standard and striving for improvements. If I told you that I was ignorant and said “I ain’t know smarty pants, know it all book reading thinka” the only place where I would be taken seriously would be FOX News and Middle America. This is a problem. May not be easily corrected but you can correct the problem. Why is it ok to say “I ain’t no salad eating, regularly exercising person who cares about not expanding and invading the personal space of everyone ever in life.” How does being visibly out of shape inspire confidence?

Third, I can’t stand hearing bullshit. I do not know 1 fat girl who wanted to be fat. The very vast (pun definitely intended) majority of fat women don’t wanna be fat. The self acceptance movement of the big girl, to me, is an acceptance of failure. No, I’m not saying go do some unhealthy shit to lose weight. No, I’m not advocating you go kill yourself. I am advocating the need for honesty and change.

Honestly I and most men can’t be attracted to you because you’re too big. No, a confident personality will not make up the difference for what you lack in cuteness and No, that does not make me shallow. I’ve always been from the school of thought that you can MAKE YOURSELF. So you never have to accept what you are as long as you’re willing to acknowledge it work toward change. Now that won’t necessarily make you beautiful but at least you’ll look like you care.

What is This all about?

I was watching the Family Guy episode where Peter gets the job at the TV Station doing the segment called "You Know What Grinds My Gears?" and then all of a sudden it came to me. A few people I know have been writing blogs on very specific topics. I would do this as well if it wasn’t for the fact that I probably have A.D.D. and it multiplies whenever I’m in front of my laptop. I’m actually trying to not talk to anyone while writing this and I’m failing miserably. But this is the world we live in. A world where multitasking is an everyday fact of life that has reduced our collective attention spans to that of a coked up 3 year old with a baseball bat in a playground. But I digress.

I am writing this blog as a way to invite discourse on topics that I feel warrant conversation and to express my PERSONAL OPINION which is unique and exclusive. The views expressed in this blog are my own. I have always felt it is infinitely more entertaining to discuss things you dislike rather than the myriad of things you might sorta kinda maybe like. This is why my blog is about shit that I don’t like. And there is a shitload of shit that I don’t like so this blog is like the song that doesn’t end remixed by the Diddy All-Stars. CAN’T STOP WON’T STOP. TAKE THAT TAKE THAT.

For those of you who may not know me, I shall give you a brief description of me. I’m currently 24 years of age, New Yorker born and raised. I like women, drinking, eating good food and rock music. I'm an atheist. I'm a huge soccer and basketball fan. I dislike cheese and a myriad of other things which is why we are here. So let's get started.